Why can't I grow up?!?

So there I was…sitting on an extremely hard chair in the middle of Sunday school. The guy teaching was incredibly attractive…but I was not even paying attention today. Normally I would have been paying extreme attention to every word that came out of his mouth, but today I was severely focused on the guy next to me. I have taken a recent interest in this guy, and my friend made sure that I was securely stationed right next to him. It was glorious. He would lean over and whisper something hilarious in my ear, and we would laugh silently in our seats. Things were going great…for real. But then I had to do something that I have a real problem with. It’s this thing that was somehow ingrained into me from my junior high years. I started talking about another guy. I told my friend that I talked to this guy last night. I don’t know why. Things were going so great, and I was really feeling that connection, and I bring up some other guy. I started back-pedaling after a few seconds and start saying stuff like, “I don’t want to date him,” but I just feel so stupid. I do this a lot, actually. I don’t know whether it’s because for some reason I need to appear non-interested, or like I have other options. It’s like I’m playing the jealousy game. I don’t even want to play it, either. It’s juvenile, and for the first time in my life I would like to just have a straightforward relationship. Good grief. Hopefully I can get over this weirdness…because I’m tired of reverting back to middle school. Some people just can’t grow up. Turns out I’m one of them.